The men of Fade Street

So I said I would do a 'Men of Fade Street' post last weekend (oorrr the weekend before) and this is me getting round to it. I'm a lazy BATCH this week, meso tired!

So the talent in Fade Street is Ok, there are a few who would perhaps make the 'Hot Irish Guy' list.

I have already dealt with The Biggest Penis in Ireland, Michael O'Doherty...

Love that pic...heh heh heh.

So this guy is called Diarmaid Maher, he originally came on the scene as one of the Stellar Hottest Bachelors but was subsequently employed by Stellar magazine as a kind of 'Agony Uncle'. I mean, in theory, on paper he's hot. He does nada for me, but I'm not really into clean shaven dudes.

Here's his visage. In this scene he's talking to Harrison about...flange or some such shite. I have three words Diarmuid Yous a hoe.

Aforementioned 'Harrison'.

I mean..he's hot but...no, just does nothing for me. Do these guys not know that douchebaggery is sooo 2000 and late? He chats up some 'bird' at the bar and makes Louise cry waaaahhh. Dry yo eyez Lou.

There is an uuuuuber funny facebook profile set up for him. Fuuck, it would be soooo shite to be a celebrity - imagine people shit talking about you and setting up embarassing fb groups in yo own name?!

Ok so another set of lads in this 'reality tv show' is Dublin band Karate Kids. Here they are

Or Kid Karate...whaterrrr

There are two of them, Kevin Breen who doesn't really have a huge part in the show and Steven Gannon who has a bigger part as he was french kissing thon Dani. Hes a wee bit of a ride to be honest

I really don't have anything to say about these lads...I can't imagine their motivation for being on the show though.

THEN there is Art Director at Stellar magazine, Dillon St Paul...everything about him makes me laugh from his tan to his eyebrows. He seems quite fun. Hilariously my friend saw him in a Centra and took a photo! It was mazin.

He's a pure magazine gay which is a sub-section with whom I am unfamiliar.

There was also this ...this....PAIN IN MY ARSE of a lad called Keith Kenny. He was dating Cici, who is in fairness, a total roide. Anyway he was SO OBVIOUSLY the Justin Bobby character that it really made me ragin - don't be lazy you fucking reality tv shoe hoors! Think of something a wee bit original

Here's his bake...yea, I know.

He got in some really classy fight with Dani because she 'accused him of asking her on a date', the whole situation was clumsy and vague but this was the outcome

*french accent* why Madame, you are so tres tres chic! I am so tres tres impressed avec your lovely country!

So yea, a quick guide to the lads of Fade Street.

I need more pap photos!

Fade Street

I have been meaning to blog about this for-ev-uurr but I'm only getting round to it nowz.

So basically I have always said I should have a reality tv show - I know erry ho' up in here thinks that but whatevs, my version would be hawt. My friends and I used to joke that we had a version called 'The Fields' and then we went to LDN for the weekend and we called that one 'The Gherkin' heh heh heh. So when I heard last summer that RTE were doing an IRISH REALITY TV SHOW I was puuuure raging I wasn't on that bill.

These ho's were. Anyhooz.

I watched with bated breath and I have to say it was my favourite thing OF ALL TIME! Literally the most ridiculous, shameful, low-rent, unintionally funny, scripted piece of reality shit I EVER SAW!

AKA I loved it.

This is funny.

I am so shit at explaining things concisely so I'll will try not to bore the flaps off any readers. There is a street in Dublin called 'Fade Street'. It isn't particularly cool even so I was bemused by it even being set there. Ithas one good bar, one shit bar, it used to have a record store and (human interest) it has a tanning salon where I used to indulge in the sun-beds.

The main females are Dublin model Vogue Williams (I wonder what her real name is? Margaret? Sheila? Candice?). She is smoking hot. Shes a model, now trying to get into acting. She dates infamous but toally secret Dublin graffiti/artist Maser which has made me crazy with curiosity to see what he looks like - he must be a big ride to have bagged this Irish hottie. Anyway, she comes across as really sound and a bit of a sketch and only a little tennsy bit retarded. In Fade Street she was an intern (whaaa? Really?? Original) on Irish mag 'Stellar' for the summer.

Fellow 'Stellar' intern and Fade Street main female is Louise Johnson. She is a former economics student at UCD (my alma mater, hawt) and wannabe PR/events bitch. She seems REALLY uptight but with some glimmer of soundness peaking through. I think she would be the girl you would hate at first and then after one mental night of drinking and honest confabs she'd be your bro4lyf. She's also suuuper cute.

I maybe should have done this next gurl first as she's kind of the 'main player' but my own personal feelings toward her prevented me. So her name is Dani Robinson and shes a Lauren Conrad figure (ie coming from 'somewhere else' to 'the big city'...gag me). She's from Wexford (take a moment for a lil lol) and a big bogger (country bumpkin) and wants to become a tatoo artist (another lol). She seems really immature and silly and selfish and clueless...I'm sorry! I don't want to be mean but I'm literally sayin what I'm seein. She gets a lot of dick tho...kudos

Right so Dani and Louise are living together (totally improbablebut ok - suspension of disbelief). Then Dani's totally ridey friend Cici comes on the scene with her plethora of 'hot locations' and 'single men'.

Cici Cavanagh is a bit of a ride to be fair and also in all fairness she doesn't seem the total douchebag. She does seem like a bit of an eijit and I'd say you'd get sick of hanging out with her after about three months. As with most hot alternative girls in Dublin I would guess she works in Urban Outfitters.

Total ride.

They basically go around doing the exact same things the girls in The Hills did except on a much shitter level and with way more obvious scripting (there was a situation where Vogue left bags of expensive clothes in the boot of a taxi - like puhlease).

'Stellar' magazine, where they intern, which fired Vogue and then fired Louise but still seems to have a huge role in the show, is actually very good. I found like the only place in B'fast that stocks it and buy it the whole time.

The editior is Susan Vasquez. I cannot find a good photo of her on the internet but here is a not-ver-good-one

She is a scary bitch, who rules her ship with an iron fist and looks like Brisbane Barbie but with the cold, dead eyes of a contract killer.

The other boss there is Michael O'Doherty, who may or may not be the biggest penis in Ireland but I'm leaning toward the latter. I think he may be the publisher or something? I know he was introduced on the show as something but I don't listen to facts. Anyway, I find it hard to understand why an oul lad my Da's age is on the telebox shaming himself making a load of girls lives miserable??? He's an utter sociopath. He had a party in Dublin A-List shithole 'Krystle' and when Dani and her 'rocker' friends turned up (lets just take a minute to lol over 'rocker friends')he took a conniption and started ranting about 'tatooed fuckwits'. It was Irish comedy gold.

It's the fucking best! Season One is over and there is some disagreement whether Season Two will happen but it must! It simply must!

The Man of Fade Street deserve their own post so Imma go ahead on and come back to that...but I will leave you with a picture of Dani and a bunny

Goodbye Dublin...

So finally I have moved home. I have left Dublin, where I lived for seven very happy years. I am sad it's over (for the time being anyway) so I thought I would write a little goodbye love letter to my former home.

Goodbye Dublin. Goodbye UCD and TCD. Goodbye shops I have worked in, including Cleary's with your dodgy canteen and Busstop Shop with your amazingly freakish customers. Goodbye all the places I have ever lived, from shitty student halls to a dodgy basement in Charleston Road to above an offlicence in Blackrock to a near Palace overlooking the canal at Portobello to my last home, a big house in Sandymount. Goodbye Whelans, your smoking area may be pimped out now but I remember when it was a slim corridor downstairs. Goodbye Camden Casket, I loved buying out-of-date biscuits and cheap shampoo from you. Goodbye Mars Chinese, you look fairly shady but you're delicious. Goodbye the Grand Canal, I have walked your length from the Schoolhouse to Griffith College many a time and the portion between Harolds Cross and Portobello is my favourite. Goodbye the smell of Camden Street on a hot night. Goodbye the beggers on O'Connell Street who actually stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you when you're at the bank machine. Goodbye Coppers, if you don't score in Coppers you are dead. Goodbye Aprile, you were my favourite chipper, and will always have a place in my heart. Goodbye Crawdaddy, especially Antics where three euro pints encouraged me to make a million bad decisions. Goodbye Grafton Street at nighttime. Goodbye the 10, the 11, the 46a, the 15, the 128, the 7, the 2, the 3, the 45, the 145, the 8 and the 4. Goodbye the dart and the luas, many times I rode you with no ticket. Goodbye cheap shops on Henry Street, you made me very happy but very trashy looking. Goodbye the big Pennys on Mary Street, you made my life. Goodbye cineworld I spend whole days in you going to movies for free and went on my first date in you. Goodbye Base Bar, you welcomed me so warmly recently even though I'm not gay. Goodbye Burger King in Baggot Street, nums. Goodbye Leeson Street I spent two happy years walking along you. Goodbye all the Charity shops along Camden Street, Aungier Street, Georges Street. Goodbye all the restraunts I've worked in, Acapoulco you made my hair smell like fried food. Goodbye Doyles and fuck you, I will never darken your door again. Goodbye going to gigs in the Olympia, you were pretty much a shithole but I saw some fun bands there. Goodbye Centra in Ranelagh where I worked and got fired from. Goodbye Dominos, you really were best for a hangover feed. Goodbye old friends, old boyfriends, good memories, bad memories, tears and laughs. I will miss you Dublin, and I hope I'll be back.