Hungover to shit

Yes, so as previously mentioned I am hungover like a monkey who accidently drank the gamekeepers beer last night. Bleeuugghh. It's fun to spend Thursday in bed, hungover but the guilts are creeping in, assaulting my comfort and reminding me that I have shit to do. Fuck you guilt! Fuck you my Masters!

When you are hungover there are some things that should be done to ensure maximum illness-recovery and pleasure with minimum fuss or pain.

1)  Painkillers. Do not try to do this alone. You need a lil sumpin sumpin to get you through the initial horror of waking up remembering pint after pint and at least three shots and that wierd sticky brown stuff you had when you went back to that random party..oh fuck that random party. Did I really lick that guys dog's basket just because I was dared to?

2) After the painkillers have kicked in (just lie in bed moaning and trying to block out the half-formed memories for about half an hour), leave the bed, take the duvet and head to the nearest television set.

Hangover tv is very personal choice, my mum mostly prefers Greys Anatomy, my sister likes to catch up on current tv whereas I like to watch stuff I can cry to. In the past that has included an advertisment for arthritis medication (she used to be able to carry her shit back from the shops by herself and now she cant waaaaaaa), High School Musical (I've never been kissed on a rooftop in the rain waaaaaa), and Bones (he died in a giant tumble dryer, well he didn't...but his remains were put in a giant tumble dryer, waaaaa).

Thats a wierd fucking set of pictures. *shudder*

3) Ok, the next step is into another area of personal taste - the hanogver feed, with the added complexity of how broke you are after last night, what's in your fridge and how bad you are. The worst case scenario is that you are really ill, like boking ill and you have nooo money (in fact, you owe your flatmate a tenner for the taxi home) and the only things in your cupboard are the stale heels of a loaf, apples, a tin of diet soup and white sauce powder. You, my friend, are fucked. Go back to bed, this day ain't getting any better.

The best case scenario is you have some money left, a phone with credit, a friend who likes the same tv as you and a dominos menu. There is no pizza like hungover pizza and there is no better way of eating triple carbs than pizza-garlic bread-wedges. Even WRITING this is making me drool! Oh good times, and obviously hungover calories don't count.

This, to me, is the triumvirate. And if this shit is all up in the mix as well...well, now you've got a party.

Yes, this is garlic sauce. Double garlic you say? Yes, I say!

4) Ok, the tv is on, its a show you have already seen. The food is finished and the cartons are lying on the floor. You have talked about all the hideous things you did last night and you both are on an even score of shame. There is only one last thing to do to finally banish the hangover, drift off into a gentle, relaxing snooze. Ahh, the mothers womb could not have been this comfortable.