HAAA!!!! Amazing!

I just looked at my stats and someone got to this blog by googling "Scat shit eating pussy" hahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahah!!

That is THE most amayzing thing I ever heard!!!

My scat blog!

Rude Batch!

So I was talking to a girl in my work the other day (who is engaged) and I casually said, "Raging, there's only one engagment ring in Tiffany in gold" and she was all "Oh mummy! Not being rude but seriously? You'll hardly be getting a Tiffany ring!".

I think it might have something to do with being 26 and single - your whole ideas or whaterr on meeting someone and getting engaged are sooooo abstract and vague that as a girl who is actually engaged she was able to see far clearer - bitch please, ain't no point hoping aiigh'?

The thing is though, I can't imagine NOT putting in money toward my engagment ring - is this cray-zay? I just can't imagine being all "Yea, I want the right ring and that's gonna cost some coin...namsayin'?". I'd rather be like... "Oooh babe, this is the rock - les go halfers" and kinda just arrange it before he really knew what was happening.

I think I was so pissed off cuz I was thinking, don't put me into YOUR box, you didn't and wouldn't receive a Tiffany engagement ring but it would mean nothing to you and it's never been your dream. It's been mine. I just want one. That's just the way it is. So just let me have my own dreams and you can have yours and les all live in perfect harmoney.

Also because the chances of me EVER meeting someone and settling down are slim to NONE I already havez me a backup plan. My right-hand-rock. I'm going to buy myself a serious piece of stone for my right hand, I'll scrimp, I'll save, I'll go without because it is MY DREAM to have a diamond all mine own. And it's fine if you think thats ridiculous and preposterous - because maybe I am ridiculous and preposterous.

Mwahz.

The men of Fade Street

So I said I would do a 'Men of Fade Street' post last weekend (oorrr the weekend before) and this is me getting round to it. I'm a lazy BATCH this week, meso tired!

So the talent in Fade Street is Ok, there are a few who would perhaps make the 'Hot Irish Guy' list.

I have already dealt with The Biggest Penis in Ireland, Michael O'Doherty...

Love that pic...heh heh heh.

So this guy is called Diarmaid Maher, he originally came on the scene as one of the Stellar Hottest Bachelors but was subsequently employed by Stellar magazine as a kind of 'Agony Uncle'. I mean, in theory, on paper he's hot. He does nada for me, but I'm not really into clean shaven dudes.

Here's his visage. In this scene he's talking to Harrison about...flange or some such shite. I have three words Diarmuid Yous a hoe.

Aforementioned 'Harrison'.

I mean..he's hot but...no, just does nothing for me. Do these guys not know that douchebaggery is sooo 2000 and late? He chats up some 'bird' at the bar and makes Louise cry waaaahhh. Dry yo eyez Lou.

There is an uuuuuber funny facebook profile set up for him. Fuuck, it would be soooo shite to be a celebrity - imagine people shit talking about you and setting up embarassing fb groups in yo own name?!

Ok so another set of lads in this 'reality tv show' is Dublin band Karate Kids. Here they are

Or Kid Karate...whaterrrr

There are two of them, Kevin Breen who doesn't really have a huge part in the show and Steven Gannon who has a bigger part as he was french kissing thon Dani. Hes a wee bit of a ride to be honest

I really don't have anything to say about these lads...I can't imagine their motivation for being on the show though.

THEN there is Art Director at Stellar magazine, Dillon St Paul...everything about him makes me laugh from his tan to his eyebrows. He seems quite fun. Hilariously my friend saw him in a Centra and took a photo! It was mazin.

He's a pure magazine gay which is a sub-section with whom I am unfamiliar.

There was also this ...this....PAIN IN MY ARSE of a lad called Keith Kenny. He was dating Cici, who is in fairness, a total roide. Anyway he was SO OBVIOUSLY the Justin Bobby character that it really made me ragin - don't be lazy you fucking reality tv shoe hoors! Think of something a wee bit original

Here's his bake...yea, I know.

He got in some really classy fight with Dani because she 'accused him of asking her on a date', the whole situation was clumsy and vague but this was the outcome

*french accent* why Madame, you are so tres tres chic! I am so tres tres impressed avec your lovely country!

So yea, a quick guide to the lads of Fade Street.

I need more pap photos!

Vair vair good shit

This, I like.

Diva Alert

This song is some diva shit. Calling him out and predicting what tomfoolery is going down is as good as it gets in a shitty situ.

The Rock

Remember the sad-bastard-wedding post I did last weekend, hanging like a mo-fucka? Yea, well I just wanted to cement my status as a sad bastard by just posting the rock..

Herez the link cuz you KNOW those Tiffany suits don't be having their shit a 'save to images' job!


Oh you know!

Y'all don't even underSTAND how I love this...WHUT

WWSTBD?

My sisser and her friends have this game called 'What Is Tom Selleck Doing Right Now' so, someone says that and everyone has to come up with a likely scenario such as 'Watching farmyard porn and wearing a 10-gallon hat' or 'Catching sight of himself in the street and thinking - I'm a handsome man, a damn handsome man'.

So thats all well and good but I can officially say I don't give a fuck about Tom Selleck.

Stacie the Bartender though? Now her, I do give a fuck about

The question I ask myself on the regular...what is Stacie the Bartender doing right now?

I can't find shit all photos on the worldwideinterbox which is hella frustrating, I want an old school pap-falling-out-of-a-club picture of this ho'. I did however find her tumbleweedin' website. Thats some boring shit.

Her twitter is also pretty shit, but shit in a typically Yank way - "Oh blah blah pool party! blah blah love my family! Blah blah sooomuch fun!". But from there I did glean the info that she was in Las Vagas at (wait for it) Kellan Lutz's brothers bachelor party...wait. Whut? Bitch, please! Is that what you whored your soul on The Hills for??? Kellan Lutz's BROTHERS bachelor party????

The Hills first appearance...

The least plausible 'reality' storyline ever, it enrages me but also..tickles me

Wait? She's at the what? The Wedding? Just hold on there...

Although she did recently tweet about 'Troop Beverly Hills' - that movie was ZAMAYSING!!I LOVED! FUUUU, I need to watch that like asap.

Anyway the whole point of this post. What is Stacie the Bartender doing right now? Wearing a white bikini, drinking a jello shot and drawling 'You wanna do a shaawwwt??'

Standard.

Obsessed with Weddings

I am sooo obsessed with weddings. I don't EVEN know why considering I have only been to three weddings and none of anyone particularly close to me so I have never had any hand or in-put into the organisation of a wedding. But still I loooove to talk about them.

I stumbled across this a-may-zing site this morning which has now taken up the rest of the facking morning as I am just sitting on it going "Ooohhh" "Ahhh" etc.

It's called Rock and Roll Bride and it has a load of people's cool, interesting, different weddings on there.

It makes me think about my ideal wedding. Well first I need some money, some time, to get a facking proper job. Oh, and a man. Yep, a man is kind of necessary.

I came across it as a couple from where I'm from were on it. They did a cool, rockabilly wedding in the registry office and then held their recetion in a restarant (I can't fucking spell that word). I liked it because it changed my opinion. I always thought weddings done like that would be a bit shit but theirs was classy and cool and lovely.

Herez a link to their fun wedding

Herez some fun wedding ideas I like. Get married here

Pictures here

and here

Reception here

State of me daydreamin about some California wedding when I'm from facking Ireland!! Ah, these dreams of mine, will stay within the confines of my blog....Imma kill myself now...

Back on point. Wearing this hot piece of Stella Mc Cartney. Jayziz. I'd sell my imaginary groom for this

With these Isabel Marant puppies

And this to top off the whole shebang

OHMIGAWD Who sits around planning their imaginary wedding on their blog??? Who does that??? You fucking psycho!!!

STFU I'm hungover, single, thirsty and wedding chat is soothing that.

Is Sataday night

I'm not feeling too Saturday-y so I'm listening to this volume Loud. Het.

New Die Antwoord jamz

Nails

I got a fresh-to-death set for going to London last weekend. I'm going to try to give up my nail habit right now but I'unno if I can do it!

I really love this set.

Shit got wild up in London. We ended up at a crazy basment party thing on Friday. I definately kissed three people (Whassuup!). I actually said to one of them 'Mike, you taste of chemicals'.

Fade Street

I have been meaning to blog about this for-ev-uurr but I'm only getting round to it nowz.

So basically I have always said I should have a reality tv show - I know erry ho' up in here thinks that but whatevs, my version would be hawt. My friends and I used to joke that we had a version called 'The Fields' and then we went to LDN for the weekend and we called that one 'The Gherkin' heh heh heh. So when I heard last summer that RTE were doing an IRISH REALITY TV SHOW I was puuuure raging I wasn't on that bill.

These ho's were. Anyhooz.

I watched with bated breath and I have to say it was my favourite thing OF ALL TIME! Literally the most ridiculous, shameful, low-rent, unintionally funny, scripted piece of reality shit I EVER SAW!

AKA I loved it.

This is funny.

I am so shit at explaining things concisely so I'll will try not to bore the flaps off any readers. There is a street in Dublin called 'Fade Street'. It isn't particularly cool even so I was bemused by it even being set there. Ithas one good bar, one shit bar, it used to have a record store and (human interest) it has a tanning salon where I used to indulge in the sun-beds.

The main females are Dublin model Vogue Williams (I wonder what her real name is? Margaret? Sheila? Candice?). She is smoking hot. Shes a model, now trying to get into acting. She dates infamous but toally secret Dublin graffiti/artist Maser which has made me crazy with curiosity to see what he looks like - he must be a big ride to have bagged this Irish hottie. Anyway, she comes across as really sound and a bit of a sketch and only a little tennsy bit retarded. In Fade Street she was an intern (whaaa? Really?? Original) on Irish mag 'Stellar' for the summer.

Fellow 'Stellar' intern and Fade Street main female is Louise Johnson. She is a former economics student at UCD (my alma mater, hawt) and wannabe PR/events bitch. She seems REALLY uptight but with some glimmer of soundness peaking through. I think she would be the girl you would hate at first and then after one mental night of drinking and honest confabs she'd be your bro4lyf. She's also suuuper cute.

I maybe should have done this next gurl first as she's kind of the 'main player' but my own personal feelings toward her prevented me. So her name is Dani Robinson and shes a Lauren Conrad figure (ie coming from 'somewhere else' to 'the big city'...gag me). She's from Wexford (take a moment for a lil lol) and a big bogger (country bumpkin) and wants to become a tatoo artist (another lol). She seems really immature and silly and selfish and clueless...I'm sorry! I don't want to be mean but I'm literally sayin what I'm seein. She gets a lot of dick tho...kudos

Right so Dani and Louise are living together (totally improbablebut ok - suspension of disbelief). Then Dani's totally ridey friend Cici comes on the scene with her plethora of 'hot locations' and 'single men'.

Cici Cavanagh is a bit of a ride to be fair and also in all fairness she doesn't seem the total douchebag. She does seem like a bit of an eijit and I'd say you'd get sick of hanging out with her after about three months. As with most hot alternative girls in Dublin I would guess she works in Urban Outfitters.

Total ride.

They basically go around doing the exact same things the girls in The Hills did except on a much shitter level and with way more obvious scripting (there was a situation where Vogue left bags of expensive clothes in the boot of a taxi - like puhlease).

'Stellar' magazine, where they intern, which fired Vogue and then fired Louise but still seems to have a huge role in the show, is actually very good. I found like the only place in B'fast that stocks it and buy it the whole time.

The editior is Susan Vasquez. I cannot find a good photo of her on the internet but here is a not-ver-good-one

She is a scary bitch, who rules her ship with an iron fist and looks like Brisbane Barbie but with the cold, dead eyes of a contract killer.

The other boss there is Michael O'Doherty, who may or may not be the biggest penis in Ireland but I'm leaning toward the latter. I think he may be the publisher or something? I know he was introduced on the show as something but I don't listen to facts. Anyway, I find it hard to understand why an oul lad my Da's age is on the telebox shaming himself making a load of girls lives miserable??? He's an utter sociopath. He had a party in Dublin A-List shithole 'Krystle' and when Dani and her 'rocker' friends turned up (lets just take a minute to lol over 'rocker friends')he took a conniption and started ranting about 'tatooed fuckwits'. It was Irish comedy gold.

It's the fucking best! Season One is over and there is some disagreement whether Season Two will happen but it must! It simply must!

The Man of Fade Street deserve their own post so Imma go ahead on and come back to that...but I will leave you with a picture of Dani and a bunny